I am sure everybody might have fallen in love at least once. People who have affairs might be having certain expectations from their partners. According to me, a romantic partner provides you love, security and also comfort. Many People who have affairs might be looking forward to make a judgment for this affair.
People in a relationship fear from getting cheated by their partners which could hurt them badly. One of the most highlighted factors on which people in relationship might get cheated is Sex.
While reports say that 20% of the People in relationship are cheated from their partners after sex. And when talked about emotional cheating the rate is increased to 80%.
What is an affair?
According to the People who have affairs, an affair is an undefined path attempting by peoples to fulfill their needs. It can be physical as well as emotional need. When these needs are not fulfilled, people engaged themselves in an affair with another partner. According to the People who have affairs, an alternate relationship is an improved way for them to meet their needs which are not fulfilled from the existing relationship.
Who are the People who have affairs and why?
According to reports, People who have affairs carries less restrictive views about sex. They don’t believe in limiting themselves to one sex partner.
The main reason for people to have affairs is the lack of commitment given to their partner and relationship satisfaction. They leave their partner alone at the time when they are needed the most. These two are the main reasons experienced by the People who have affairs.
A survey of 5000 peoples was conducted in the UK to know about the People who have affairs.
The top 5 reasons according to women’s were:
- Lack of emotional intimacy (84%)
- Lack of communication between partners (75%)
- Tiredness (32%)
- A bad history with sex or abuse (26%)
- A lack of interest in sex with the current partner (23%)
The top 5 reasons according to men’s were:
- Lack of communication between partners (68%)
- Stress (63%)
- Sex-related problem with the current partner (44%)
- Lack of emotional intimacy (38%)
- Fatigue or being chronically tired (31%)
Other reasons given by People who have affairs are their desires for more sex. According to research, People who have affairs might also have some mental issues like depression, suicide thoughts or the feeling of fear. Emotional or physical violence can also be one of the reasons to have affair.
According to the answers of People who have affairs, it is concluded that if you lack communication with your partner or do not make her feel special then your partner is more likely to have an affair.
What to do?
People who have affairs choose to keep it a secret as they might be looking forward to continue it. So to avoid affairs partners need to spend more time with each other which is very much necessary to keep a relationship strong.
According to relationship therapists, people who have affairs because of sex issue can be minimized by the help of therapy. But the difficulty comes in rebuilding the relationship of People who have affairs.
Once, a trust or belief that your partner is there to give you love and security is broken then it might also become the reason to have affair. So you need to build trust and feeling of love with your partner to rebuild your relationship.
One can even approach a marriage counselor in case of emotional violence and can address all their issues to them. A marriage counselor will look out the reason for the affair; will develop the feeling of understanding and forgiveness in order to leave the past and to move on happily.
One should stay or go?
The therapy works for about two third of the People who have affairs. So it is based on the couples. If they want to stay together they can forgive their partner and move on.
The therapist can help in rebuilding trust for the People who have affairs. The betrayed partner needs to provide assurance about the commitment and they can unite together as a happy couple.
What about the rest of the one-third People who have affairs? The therapy does not work on them. If a relationship is followed by the feeling of insecurity, no love, no comforts, unresolved issues and never-ending conflicts then it is better to end the relationship. Being in a relationship does not mean that you can neglect these relationship-building points.
Is ending a relationship easy?
For some, it can be easy but for some, it might be difficult. It is difficult for one to end the bond which is developed with the partner in the relationship. Even for those People who have affairs, the attachment needs are less likely to be fulfilled.
Parting your ways with the People who have affairs might lead you to separation distress. One will regret not only for leaving the partner but will also fear about getting another partner who can fulfill their needs.
The separation period differs for People who have affairs. Some people may celebrate for ending their toxic relationship while some lives in stress. People who have affairs can even take the help of a therapist to minimize the effects of separation.
So, at last, it is concluded that the primary reasons for People who have affairs are not sex but the lack of emotional attachment and bonding with their partners. The problem is that some people receive happiness in their affairs instead of existing relationship.