We’ve spent a lot of time discussing things that gentlemen don’t do, as well as things that they need to do better. But we must not forget that there are two sides of relationships and that men need to know what to look out for in women, also. Without fail, every time I publish an article talking about how men ‘should’ act, someone (usually a guy) asks me when I am going to talk about women as well.
The truth is that men are used to pursuing women, so if she shows interest back in our direction, it’s natural to overlook the red flags for the fact that she makes us feel wanted or perhaps how beautiful she is. But we need to discipline ourselves to slow down and be honest – does she display these warning signs?
If you’re the type of man who consistently does little things to make her feel special, it’s equally as important that she is the type of woman who shows, in some way, shape or form, that she appreciates your efforts. There are a lot of men out there who are apathetic in their relationships. If you are not one of them, you deserve someone who is grateful for you.
Nothing is ever her fault.
A clear red flag is raised by a woman who doesn’t take responsibility for her actions or always tries to place the blame on someone else (especially you).
To take responsibility is to be open to learning from less than perfect judgment and using your experiences to learn and grow. If someone in a relationship is unable to take that first step, the rest will never follow, and growing together will be an arduous and potentially impossible task.
You’re the only person she’s nice too.
When you go out to a bar or to dinner, pay attention to how she treats people who work there. I would say the same before about men also – if a nice guy isn’t nice to the waiter, then he’s not really a nice guy.
Same goes for women.
Your visions for the future aren’t even close.
Let’s be honest. If you’re entering into a long-term relationship, there should be at least a general understanding of what each of you wants for your life and your future. There is always room for compromise, but if one of you wants to live in Antarctica and the other wants to live in the African desert, you might be facing some future conflicts.
As I said in the introduction here, it’s easy for men to overlook details when it comes to a woman we’re infatuated with. But we need to be honest with ourselves – if someone we’re courting always seems to be canceling or postponing plans, taking forever to answer texts (if at all), or just seems generally disinterested, do yourself a favor and cut the cord.
She keeps you on a (really) tight leash.
You’ve got your friends, interests, and hobbies. It’s natural that there are adjustments to the time spent with these people and things when you enter a relationship, but a relationship is part of life – not the entire thing. If a woman has a hard time letting you keep your individual life when you’re together, she may be too possessive for her own good (and yours).
A woman who truly cares about you will want you to go out and do the things you enjoy because she knows it makes you happy. This ultimately benefits the relationship.
Also, read Is your Girlfriend Is Cheating on You?