One thing needs to be understood is that online dating is not the process for assessing who is your soul mate. It is tempting and alluring but it becomes frustrating when you look around it in a wrong way. A recent book published, entitled, love rules: finding a real relationship in a digital world by Joanna Coles assures one to take a practical approach in assessing what type or category of love one wants. She writes, “online dating is incredibly good for expanding your social network in general“. I have lots of stories of people who moved to cities and didn’t know anybody and built up a friend group through online dating.
She believes that either your date is successful you get hooked up or married or it is an utter failure, that is you go to your home alone and you are not in touch with the person again in any way. In simple terms, time decides if you want to hang out with someone once, twice, thrice or many times or in romantic context or may be in a platonic assessment of love.
The ultimate question that one asks in such cases is the same, “is he or she the one?” this kind of stress and questions in mind pose a threat to th date.These type of questions need to be reframed in a better context for dating in a general. They should be like as do I like this person ? can he be added in my friends group? Is he worthy of being my friend? Do I wish ti meet him again ? if I dislike this person, is there anyone in my group who might like them? If yes, why and how ? do is hare common things with him? If so, what are they ? Do you think that this person attractive and useful than many others?
Recent researches have always proved that soul mates are always best friends first. Do things what you feel and enjoy. Relocate your time towards expansion of your friends circle online. Do something creative like painting or dance. Don’t revolve around the concerned person. It is so because this person might not become the one.
Sleep and your work place. Recent studies have proved that you sleep better if you are very nice to your colleagues and have cordial relations with them. You have insomnia if you feel a problem with people working around you. That is the reason we find our colleagues friends and fortunate. Ion any situation, these people, your colleagues are going to help you out. Journal of Applied Psychology has an article suggest that behaving well in your office helps you sleep in a better way. This research was help in university of Iowa with sample of around 600 workers in united states of America and china with the study of their work place behavior.
This has a direct relation with sleep quality . this study asses the sample workers’ counter productive work for ten days, with inappropriate behavior, anger, aggression, gossiping and blaming other people. The report or the conclusion was how they feel after their work was off and how well they had sleep. Results were positive. This analysis also suggests that the stress and tension of work leads to the dangerous problem of insomnia.
Self sabotage is considered now a days a reason why most of the people are single today. They make their own chances of finding a right partner very less. This is done to protect themselves emotionally. These people might hold many negative dating beliefs about themselves or their finding soul mates.Therefore, they are not ready to date.There are many reasons for being single like by choice or by commitment issues or that we have not
met out right person yet.
However, psychologist have determined self sabotage as the reason for this.Although we don’t realize this as as a major issue. But psychologists like Melanie Schilling says, “most people play a significant role in keeping themselves single.” Self sabotage has been defined as, “actively undermining and blocking opportunities for social interaction or dating potential. Essentially telling the world you are not interested in a relationship-either consciously or unconsciously.”
She further added, “it is a common to blame external factors- for example, its too cold, I’ll start sating after winter or anything petty- and the core of most self-sabotage is fear.” She explained, “often when people have been emotionally scarred in the past, it’s common yo ne self-protective. But there is a difference between being healthily skeptical and undermining your happiness.” She further concluded to solve this problem, “self-compassion and self-awareness are the first step in attracting and developing a positive relationship.”