And here is your daily dose of laughter and jokes –
- Where do fish keep their money?
In a river-bank!
- why did the Christmas tree go to the barbershop before the Christmas Eve?
Because it wants to get trimmed before the eve!
- Johnny asked Jacob for a cigarette. Jacob Says, “I heard that you have made a New Year resolution to quit smoking habit”. Then Johnny replied, “Yes I have decided to quit this habit and I am in the process of quitting, right now I am in the second phase”. Then Jacob asked, “oh really, so what was the first phase?”
Johnny simply says “I have just quit buying cigarettes”!!
- Snelly to Simon: “sorry, I cannot be your valentine for health reasons”
Simon: “oh really, what happened?”
Snelly: “yeah, because you have made me sick”!
- Dad: “Most people don’t have to work today because it’s Labour Day.”
Son: “If they’re not working, shouldn’t it be `No-Labour Day?”
- Jennifer was taking an afternoon sleep on New Year’s Eve prior to celebrations. When she woke up, she said George, her husband, that “dear, I dreamt that you have gifted me a diamond ring as a New year present. What does it all means?”
George simply smiled and answered, “Wait dear, you will come to know tonight”.
At midnight, when the New Year was chiming, George gifted her with a small package. Jennifer excitedly opened the package quickly and she found a book named “Dreams and the meaning of dreams”!!
- A lady was running to catch a train to Bangalore. She reached the station and was searching for the train.
Passenger: (Asked the station master) Sir, is this my train?
Station Master: No Madam, this is not your train, it’s railways department’s train.
Passenger: (Annoyed) That’s a good joke. Don’t act too smart. What I meant was, can I take this train to Bangalore?
Station Master: No ma’am, you cannot! This train is so BIG and you can’t take it.
Passenger: It is really funny! Now say me, will this train take me to Bangalore?
Station Master: NO ma’am. The train can’t take you. The train driver will drive it to Bangalore!
The passenger fainted!
- Why was the music teacher not able to open his room?
Because the keys were on his piano!
- Teacher to John: “John, you have 6 apples on your plate and Sam took two of them, what would you get?”
John: “A fight”!
- What will be a Math teacher’s favourite dish?