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Best New Year Jokes To Start Your New Year 2018 With A Big Laugh
New Year Jokes

Read the list of best new year jokes to startnew year 2018 with a big laugh

  • May you find the strength to write, “Who is this?” to all the strange numbers that text you “Happy New Year!” tonight.

– Damien Fahey ‏

  • New Years parades have a lot in common with Santa Claus. Nobody is awake to see either one of them.

– Melanie White

  • Miami asks residents not to celebrate New Year by shooting into the airbecause the bullets will come back down.

– Dave Barry

  • My New Year’s resolution is to eat better, so from now on, I’m going to only date guys who can afford to take me somewhere other than McDonald’s.

– Melanie White

  • This New Years I’m going to make a resolution I can keep:no dieting all year long.

– Melanie White

  • On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.  Well, it was kind of embarrassing.  As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
  • A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little-crippled children, then I’m for it.  This is my position, and I will not compromise.”
  • A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, “Happy New Year everybody.” and the waiter says, “We are in June you drunk man.” And the drunk man says, “Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!”

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

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